You’ve heard the saying “birds of a feather flock together” or “misery loves company”, I was living those sayings for awhile and not in a good way. For a long time I found myself drawn to people who could commiserate with my misery, particularly in the workplace. I found myself in a job that I didn’t love, working for a boss that was manipulative, frustrating, and simply unfair. Many of my coworkers felt the same way, so each day we would spend our breaks complaining about our work lives, though not many of us were doing anything about it. I soon realized this was not healthy thing for me, and it was keeping me in a very negative mood most days and I just didn’t like the person I was becoming. I would like to say I came to that realization on my own, but I didn’t. My partner helped me realize I was allowing the negativity to affect me as a person. Not only was it affecting me, but I was bringing my anger and frustration home, which was not something I wanted to do. So after many months of thinking “I can’t help it”, I made some changes.
I began seeing my job for what it was, a job, not a career. While that thought alone didn’t fix my problematic boss situation, or keep me from being frustrated day in and day out, it was a start. The next thing I did was limit the time I spent complaining and started focusing on the positive aspects of my position. I began thinking of what the future may hold for me and what lesson I was supposed to be learning. I had been looking for another job on and off for about 2 years and had difficulty finding the “right” position which I attributed that to the lesson I still had to learn in my current position. I didn’t immediately know what the lesson was since I was so focused on the negativity, but then something happened…I changed my attitude.
Once I changed my attitude about my situation my situation changed. It was like magic! Within a few months I was asked to apply for a position with another company that seemingly fell out of the sky. I wasn’t actively looking for another job at the time, but this position fit perfectly with my family life and the impending move we had planned in the coming months. I couldn’t believe it! Just when I had stopped looking for the things to complain about, and stopped flocking with the negative crowd, my reality changed and it changed for the better. Lesson learned…or so I thought.
Lately I have been feeling a pull towards the future me. The one that has her own business, sets her own hours, and is doing the work that she loves. A version of me that seems so very far away and at times the thought can be frustrating. Add to that the stress and frustration at work and I found myself beginning to move towards the flock of negativity again. Not. Good. News. With that said there is a flip side to this and that is, I am aware of it.
I am very aware of the road I am beginning to travel down, and I remember very clearly what happened the last time I was on this road. So I am choosing to turn around and head down a more productive, more positive, more optimistic path. One of faith.
I have faith that I am being challenged right now for a reason, and while I don’t know what that reason is, I know it will lead me to something better. I just have to believe not only in myself, but in my dream. And I am going to do just that.
I intend to be more aware of my complaining and limit it as much as possible so I don’t follow the flock down a road I have already traveled. I already know what is at the end, and it is not pretty. I choose to embrace the positive aspects of life and have faith that those positives will multiply. I’ve seen it happen before, and I know it will happen again with a little faith.
What about you? How do you stay positive, even when your outer circumstances are less than ideal?
I love this! I’ve also learned recently how important it is not to get caught up in complaining with others. It feels so good in the moment because it’s a way of connecting with people and a great validation of why the problems in my life are someone else’s fault, but I’ve discovered that the longer term effects are not worth it. I’ve made a lot of changes recently to move away from that, and it’s making a huge difference! Good for you for taking steps to keep yourself from getting back in that same complaining position. It’s worth it!
I have found that while in the moment complaining feels good, afterwards I feel drained and pretty heavy. It’s great to be aware of it so I can continue to learn and grow. Thanks for commenting KJ!