Over the past several months, I’ve heard one client after another say these 7 words about everything from work, dating, and money to losing weight, writing, and more. 

“It’s not supposed to be this hard!”

I am a firm believer in it the fact that life doesn’t always have to be hard and as human beings, sometimes we make it harder than it needs to be. But, I also believe that “hard” is both relative and at times a necessary part of life.

Not all hard things in life are created equal. The “hard” most of these women were referring to was the kind of hard that often comes from trying the same way over and over again to no avail…meaning the hard stuff they experienced before trying something different (aka coaching).  But the truth is, there are other kinds of “hard” too. 
 

“Hard”( like struggle) is complicated. 

Yes…

• Change is hard…and beautiful and at times a non-negotiable.
• Life during a pandemic is hard…period.
• Unexpected life transitions are hard…and often blessings in disguise.
• Living in a time of so much social and political upheaval is hard…and also necessary.

There are so many things in life that can and do feel hard, but I don’t think “hard” has to mean anything specific.

Hard doesn’t always mean “wrong” and it doesn’t need to be a full stop, do-not-enter kind of deal.  There are lots of things in life that are hard and beautiful, hard and necessary, hard and 100% worth it. So, what if we all just changed our perception of “hard” just a little bit.
 

–>What if we stopped making decisions about what is right/wrong for us based on how “hard” it feels?

–> What if we stopped wearing “hard” like a badge of honor where those who do the most & have it “harder” are deemed more worthy?

–> What of we stopped trying to condense our lives into a multitude of “easy steps” and instead allowed ourselves to do the hard, worthwhile work of being, having and doing what we ultimately desire?
 

Instead of saying, assuming, and believing that things aren’t supposed to be hard, what if we simply asked ourselves if the desired outcome is worth the current challenge? 

Looking back at my journey into this work, I can tell you that at times it’s been a hard road. I’ve had lots of ups and downs and a ton of growth along the way, but it is and has always been worth it to me.  Parenting and marriage have been the same for me.  Hard, but always worth it.  

Is the hard you are going through right now, worth the ultimate outcome?

Real Talk…personal development work isn’t always easy-peasy, rainbows and unicorns stuff.  Sometimes it requires you to dig deep, ask yourself hard questions and be willing to let an old part of you die so the new you can emerge and yes… that shit is hard.

And (if I’m honest) it’s why a LOT of people don’t do this work.  It’s why many people don’t seek support through coaching and don’t say yes to the changes they want in their lives. 

Hard is relative and often those who say yes to making changes in their lives realize that the “hard” of staying where they are is more uncomfortable than the “hard” that may come from change.  Life comes equipped with challenges that provide an opportunity for us to grow and expand, because that is what LIFE is about.  
 

You came here to grow, evolve, and become who you were meant to be and with that comes some challenge and yes…some hard moments.

So, choose your hard. 

As the days, weeks, and months go by ask yourself which “hard” you are choosing. Are you choosing the hard of staying where you are because it’s comfortable and it’s what you know? Or are you choosing the hard of stepping up and doing something different because in the end, your desire is totally worth it? 

The choice is always yours, so which do you choose? 

(And for those of you asking the question…”Well, is it supposed to be easy??” my answer is simply this…it’s complicated.)

Life is full of all kinds of experiences and unknowns along the way and regardless of what is hard vs easy, one thing I know for sure is that you (and I) are not meant to stay where you are. 

You are meant to grow and expand.
You are meant to do the thing that sets your soul on fire.
You are meant to live life to the fullest and do what you feel called to do.

And yes..some of that will feel hard, but I promise, it’s worth it. 

Do the work, choose your hard and when/if you’re ready…reach out for support.  We were never meant to do this alone (thank goodness!) and it’s my mission to support as many people through their “hard” as I can. 

Can I support you?

(If so, hit the link below and let’s chat. )

Happy September friends!

It’s a new month which means…new energy, new vibes and a new perspective?

I think we can all agree that 2020 has been the YEAR of upheavals. The memes many of us were laughing at in March/April/May to get through the pandemic have long worn off as the world has fallen into a massive state of chronic chaos.  (I mean let’s just call 2020 what it is…a dumpster fire of a year that we can’t wait to get on the other side of yeah?)

I don’t know what it was about this weekend, but at one point it as if I was hit with the full weight of all the things that have unfolded personally and globally in 2020. Boom, out of the blue, I felt it and let me tell you it was heavy. 

Over the last several months (like many people) I’ve felt almost every emotion under the sun.  I’ve bounced between frustration, anger, despair, struggle and listlessness to relief, empowerment, hope, confidence and flow…and back again.

 
 But this weekend, while I felt all the feels…it just felt different. In a weird way it felt a bit like a culmination of all the big emotions I’ve had over the last few months.  I found myself emotionally drained and questioning everything. Tons of questions were bumping around in my mind. 

Things like…

What is happening?
Why is it happening?
Is it really ever going to get better?
Is this it???
Seriously Universe…wtf???

And for once in my life…I just felt it all.

I didn’t try to change it. I didn’t try to fix it. I didn’t tell a story or try to “do” anything about it.

I just sat with the feelings and let them be there. 

I did what I often ask my clients to do and I became the observer of my inner landscape. 

Sure, I cried a bit and felt a lot of things all at once, but I wasn’t attached to any of them. I simply allowed myself to “be” with it all.  And then yesterday, after a bit of journaling, it was as if the clouds parted a bit and I was able to finally see things a little differently. 

I was reminded (yet again) that often things aren’t always as they appear and that we can’t always “see” what is happening on the other side of the very real, sometimes heavy moments in life.  We can’t always see how things are falling together or how the old stuff is being burned away so something fresh and new can rise up. 

But, the greatest breakthrough of all was the reminder that the collective upheaval we are all going through might just be the pre-cursor to the proverbial phoenix rising from the ashes.

What if this moment and every upheaval we experience is simply the prologue to our ultimate peace & empowerment? 
I’ve said (and believed) for years that anytime we are hit with a life upheaval, it is always, always, always an opportunity for us to up-level and step into something new.  <— Notice I said “opportunity” because it’s not a given…it’s a choice.

Perspective is everything.  However we choose to see something in our personal lives or the collective becomes our truth.  It becomes the lens through which we see and experience life and this global chaos is no different. 

–>We have a choice to see things differently.
–>We have a choice in what we believe about a circumstance or situation.
–>We have the power to choose the story we tell & believe.

We have the opportunity to empower ourselves and each other to rebuild a better future for ALL moving forward.  

But before we can get to the “rebuild” we have to burn away the old.

We must get rid of the old worn out systems that built this broken world we see today. We have to release and let go of the beliefs and barriers that have stopped us from showing up, speaking our truth and living the big life we were meant to live.

And yes…we must be willing to let the old ways die off so something new can be born. 

We are in the midst of things burning down and the massive upheaval that will create and cultivate what is to come.  

None of us really know how long this stage of our lives will last, but we have to believe that it won’t last forever. 

And in the meantime (between the rollercoaster of emotions, challenges, and changes) we must continue to fill and refill our cups, celebrate and call in more moments of joy and do what we can in this time we are in. 

✨We must continue to protect our peace.
✨We must be willing to release the parts of ourselves that are limiting us.
✨We must choose to step into the new level that is waiting for us all…individually and collectively. 

Trust that we are not powerless and that things are not hopeless.

We are simply rising and aligning with the life and world we were made to create and each and every one of us has a role to play in this transformation. 

Your inner work is not just changing your life, but it’s contributing to the greater good of us all.  Make no mistake, we are all connected and we all have a purpose to fulfill in this transformation, whether we know it or not. 

So…if you’ve been feeling the weight of 2020 lately and you’re over it, you are not alone. I hear you. I see you and I hope that this message lands for you. 

One thing I know for sure is that part of my path here is to go through my “stuff” so I can help you with yours and despite the challenges this year (and my big move) that mission hasn’t changed.

In fact, I’m committed to it, now more than ever and I’m ready to help you lean into the tough stuff and step into the next-level…if you’re ready. The question is…are you ready? (If so, you know what to do! 👇)

Remember…we all have the opportunity right now to rise up, so let’s do that shall we?

I sat down to write a very different post than the one you are about to read. My intention this week was to share some of the amazing breakthroughs my clients have had this week, but then there was another message that came up.  A message that I think more of us need at the moment considering all the things unfolding in the world around us.  So let’s get into it shall we? 

This week I want to talk to you about the proverbial (and often literal) struggle.  

 Virtually every human being understands what this is because we’ve all been through it to some degree.  This week however, I received a download about the role struggle plays in our lives and it boiled down to these 5 things.

1. The struggle is REAL!

Truth! The struggle is real because our feelings are real and should be validated. It’s real because the circumstances that create the struggle are also real concerns, issues, and challenges. The struggle is real because we are all human beings living in a world that has been thrown off its axis a bit and the “norm” that we once knew has shifted. It’s real because life as we know it is transforming and changing at a rate that is hard to keep up with.  AND…it can still be real and true and valid without being something we get stuck in. (Read that again.)

2. The struggle is necessary.

Truth! The struggle is necessary because it is often the discomfort we need to change and grow. It’s the thing that gets you so frustrated and fed up with aspects of your life that make change a non-negotiable. It’s the “come to Jesus” meeting you end up having with yourself because deep down you know you were placed here to do more, be more and to step into who you were truly meant to be. The struggle is necessary because without it you’d never change a thing. It’s the pain in the struggle that often ignites the power within you to draw a line in the sand and do the damn thing (whatever that is for you). The struggle is necessary because it’s what inspires you to step up and go all in on what you came here to be, have, and do. 

3. The struggle is optional.    

Truth! In some cases, the struggle is also optional. I speak from experience when I say that sometimes we, as human beings make things a lot more difficult than they need to be. I’ve had many times in my life when I’ve been so hell bent on things going my way, that I struggle, push and force things into being, instead of just simply surrendering. For a long time, struggle was just the way I did things because I didn’t know any better. After awhile it just became part of my story and the thing that needed to happen before I could succeed. The struggle became the way I earned my success. Crazy, I know, but it’s true. So, yes at times the struggle is completely optional and absolutely does not need to be a prerequisite for ease, flow, or success. 

4.  The struggle is part of the journey.

Truth! No matter who you are or where you come from, struggle is part of the human journey. It’s part of our evolution.  It’s how we learn just how strong we are and how far we can go. It’s also a sign we are ready to go to the next level and expand. So, whenever you hit a struggle in your life I encourage you to remember that it’s simply an opportunity to expand and it doesn’t have to mean anything more than that. 

5.  The struggle won’t last forever.  

Truth! I know when you are in it, it can feel like the struggle is never going to end and often that is the biggest fear we all have. What if we never recover? What if it never gets better? What if it this challenge lasts forever? Let me put your mind at ease for a moment. It won’t. It doesn’t last forever and when you relax into that knowing a bit and you look for your opportunity to expand, things feel easier. Remember, it can all shift and change in an instant, the moment you believe it can. 

There’s no doubt that 2020 is a year like no other and while we are all going through our own struggle, personally and globally, we have to continue to believe that something better is unfolding and on the way.  Honestly, that thought is what is getting me through the tough stuff…that and doing this work. 

So, as we venture into yet another month of who knows what…let’s take a deep breath and choose to focus on and believe good things are on the way.

Sending big love your way!

Have a great weekend!!

P.S. If you are looking for a Mindset Boost to help you through your own struggle, check out this audio bundle.  I’ve got some new mindset resources in the works, but this is a great place to begin. 

Fun Fact: Coaches have blocks too. 

The truth is, I wouldn’t be the coach I am today if I didn’t have my own challenges.  In fact, it’s by working through my own stuff that allows me to share new tips, tools and strategies to help you get through yours. 

Usually, I feel called to share things with you after I’ve already made the shift, but I’ve been inspired to do something a little different.

Today, I felt called to share with you my most recent big block (aka gremlin) I’m working through at the moment and what I am doing to shift it. 

First, let me say that “block” may not be the best word for these little gremlins because I don’t really believe we are “blocked” in the way that so may of us often feel.  The idea of a “block” seems so impossible to overcome. Instead, I try to think of them more as little nagging beliefs that have the tendency to get in the way of the good stuff coming into my life and my most recent gremlin has been a doozy.

The Gremlin: “I’m behind.”

Since we arrived in Hawaii, I’ve been keenly aware of how “time” feels different here. There is a concept called “island time” that feels a bit more relaxed, free flowing and for this most recent east coast girl…a bit slow.  It often makes me feel so behind the rest of the world.  I tend to go to bed later, wake up later and without a daily routine, I often find myself floating through thee day and it’s been really hard on my mind. 

And let me tell you, the gremlin has a lot to say about it all too.

She’s saying things like…

“You’re running a business for crying out loud, it’s time to get back on track!”
“There’s no time for all this “rest” and “relaxation”, this isn’t vacation!”
“This isn’t going to work for that next-level life you said you were creating.”
“You really should be doing more.”

The truth is, I’m a do-er who thrives with a routine and right now I have none of that.  But the real issue here isn’t the lack of routine or the lack of “doing”.  The real issue is a tangled knot of beliefs that say… I can’t succeed without long hours and lots of (hard) work or I’m just  not good enough if I’m not “doing”.

If I go even deeper here, the real issue is that I’ve been playing into the idea of “conditional” success.

This basically means that I am only allowing myself to succeed and go to the next-level when life is running smoothly, I’m happy and in flow in every sense of the word. 

But, what about every other time in my life?

What about all the chaos and transition that happens when we move or my wife deploys or when my son is sick or jeez…when I’m feeling a little grumpy? What about when I am feeling, I don’t know…human?

Apparently for me it means that during those times, I fall (or just feel) “behind” in some way.  Maybe my energy or creativity slows down or I sabotage my own efforts in order to prove the belief that I only get to succeed when the conditions are right. 

The worst part of it all is in some way I’ve come to expect it. 

You see, beliefs are powerful things.  They grow roots that run deep and over the years they collect a ton of “evidence” to prove their validity. The roots and evidence all create an ongoing cycle that, until interrupted, affect and create our daily lives.  

I’ve been through enough years of moving, deployments, and general life chaos to see how this cycle has played out in my life and business and yet, I’ve just become aware of it on a much deeper level. 

So, how am I shifting this? 

The simple answer is choosing a new story for myself. 

Instead of believing that I can’t succeed unless all the conditions are just right, I’m practicing the story that says, I get to succeed no matter what is going on around me. No matter what season of life I am in. No matter how I feel, where I live, or what mood I’m in…success (and joy, love, peace and magic) are all just the norm for me.

I’m feeling into how that would look and feel, especially as I am in a current “in-between” space in life right now and I’m practicing it intentionally.

More specifically I am…

–> Doubling down on my mindset/journaling work around this very topic and affirming that of course, my creativity/business/income is on fire in the best way possible even when I’m living in a hotel and home-schooling my son in a new place…because that is just how it works for me.

–>I’m actively deciding for this to be true for me AND I’m looking for the evidence to support that idea.  New client inquiry? (Evidence!) Rainbow? (Evidence!) Feeling crazy inspired to share, teach, and create? (Evidence!)

–> Interrupting the crazy thoughts that say I’m behind because of “island time” or anything else for that matter.  

–> Visualizing and embodying the energy of my next-level and milking it for every ounce of joy, ease, and flow it brings. 

 
For months leading up to this move, I could feel the up-level coming. I knew that this move would transform myself, my family and my business in some truly magical ways and I still feel it.  I can feel the expansion coming and I know that the magic will filter out into the lives of my clients too and working through this gremlin is part of that process.

So…this is the work. 

Mindset work isn’t a one and done kind of deal.  Our beliefs have layers, roots and seeds and somethings we can’t quite see the stuff that needs to shift in order to create the changes we need to make in life, which is what coaches can help us do. 

But, whether you work with a coach or not, I want to invite you to look at your stuff. Look at the gremlins, go a little deeper and then decide, commit and practice the new thoughts.  Do it daily and be consistent. I promise your dreams and desires are worth it. 

Was this helpful for you?  Let me know!

P.S. If you are working through your own gremlins and you’d like some support creating a shift feel free to book a FREE 30-Minute Consultation below and let’s see if I’m the right coach for you.

This weekend I posed a question to my Facebook followers and some of the answers I received really surprised me. 

The question was simply this…

Can 2020 still turn out to be the best year ever?
Yes or no?

 While most people were totally on board with the idea that 2020 can still get better and become the best year ever, there were some responses that said, absolutely not. “I just can’t see how it can get any better for me.”

How many of us have felt that way about one situation or another in our lives? And let’s be honest, if any year was going to be the year we just can’t see it getting much better, 2020 would be it.  The truth is, we have a lot of evidence to support the idea that 2020 isn’t getting better any time soon.

But are you willing to settle for that? 

Are you willing to just throw in the towel and let go of your desires, intentions and beliefs that it can get any better?  We have 4+ months left in 2020 and a lot can happen in that time.  Heck, a lot can happen today, this week or later this month to improve your life, but first you must believe it can. 

Do you?

Do you believe it can all get bigger and better than you ever thought possible? 

 If there is anything that I know about mindset and energy, it is that with a bit of focus, intention and consistency, everything can change for the better…pandemic or no pandemic. 

Your beliefs, thoughts, and inspired actions have the power to change everything in ways you never thought possible! In fact, your beliefs are actively manifesting, creating, and cultivating your life whether you believe they are or not. 

So…

–>When you believe that your situation absolutely cannot improve, you’re right it can’t.

–>When you’re convinced that life just doesn’t get to work out for you, then that is what you experience.  

–>When you feel like you are always stuck and there is no way out, life responds with more of the same.

But…when you make a conscious to pivot your thoughts and choose to believe in something better, things change.  And I’m not talking about changes that require a lot of waiting, hoping and wishing either.  I’m talking about changes you can feel in the matter of hours, days, or weeks.

This is the power of the pivot.

Whatever is unfolding for you now doesn’t have to remain that way forever.  Whatever job, relationship, health or financial situation you are in can and will change the moment you pivot your mindset & energy.  This is the work…the only work.

 So let me ask you this…

Are you ready to make a massive shift in the next 30 days?

 If so, my big birthday offer is for you!

This year, I put together a 30 day 1:1 coaching program called PIVOT+ 2020 and it’s designed to create a massive shift (aka pivot) in your life to make the rest of 2020, the best of 2020.

I know it’s been a crazy year for all of us, but one thing I know for sure is that mindset and energy work still work and that is what we will be focusing on over the next 30 days in one area of your life.

So what are you ready to change?  

–>Are you ready to take the leap you’ve been waiting on for far too long?

–>Do you want to shift your money mindset in a big way to call in all that you desire?

–>Are you ready to transform your career or your relationships?

–>Do you want to level up your health or wellness?

The answer is in the power of the pivot.  It’s time to double-down on the mindset and energy work and PIVOT+ 2020 is one way to do just that.

Interested? 

Here’s what you get:

–> 2- 45- minute coaching sessions
–> 30 days of video/email messaging support between sessions
–> PLUS access to past programs, trainings & resources as needed
–> You also get the option to extend for another 30 days at special rate if you choose

The investment is $297 and there are only 5 spots available!

If you’ve been thinking about creating a change and have considered coaching in the past, this is your chance! 

Remember, you get to want what you want and you get to have it too, so let’s work together to create a massive shift to make the rest of 2020 the best of 2020 shall we?

If this is a HELL YES, hit the link below to get signed up. 

Questions/comments? Post a comment below!