Gratitude: Telling A Different Story

Over the last few weeks in my rush to get things done, I have missed my gratitude posts and I am feeling the effects.  Instead of reflecting back on each week with wonder and appreciation, I am finding myself returning to a mindset of “if only” and lots of frustration about seemingly small blips on my emotional radar.  I have also found that my meditation practice has been very hit or miss and that is also affecting what I like to call my emotional feng shui.  With that said, I wanted to make sure I got back on track with both meditating and my gratitude practice because I know how important both practices are for my growth and sanity.

Coming back from a week-long vacation can be a bit jarring and uncomfortable for some and I had a few ups and downs myself trying to get back into my daily groove.  While I found myself appreciating the time off, I was also more cranky than usual.  Outside my moments of crankiness I took on an observer role to figure out the cause (if any) and to see what it was that was causing me to head down a much-traveled-never-turns-out-good-road that I have experienced before.

Here’s what I realized…

I have read many blogs and articles about “telling a different story” and while I understood what the phrase meant, it never hit me emotionally.  It seems I only understood it on an intellectual level and never really applied it to my life.  Maybe I was in denial or maybe as a student of life, I wasn’t ready to receive the message.  Either way, I now understand.

We all have certain characteristics that have become a part of our emotional, psychological, moral and spiritual fabrics.  Many times we don’t take the time to question if the story we tell is still true as we say things like, “I’m not a good communicator.” or “I’ve never been good with writing.”  We even use these stories to describe others based on how we perceive them and yet we never once question if the story we are telling about ourselves or others still holds true.

We have grown so accustomed to living in a space of familiarity that we will hang on to an understanding of someone, something, or ourselves so much that we assume we have it figured out.  (And you know what they say about assuming.)  Instead of coming into situations and experiences with fresh eyes and a sense of discovery, we use our memories as the be-all, end-all truth.  But the funny thing about life is that things are always changing.

The person I am today is not who I will be tomorrow and the person I was yesterday is gone, yet when we have a death grip on what we know to be true about ourselves or someone else, we leave no room for learning anything different.  And when we have a set expectation of how someone is going to act or react (including ourselves), we generally experience the exact expectation we set forth in the beginning.

So, this week as I was going through some personal challenges, I began thinking about my story.  My story about success, work, relationships, my partner, and the story about who I am and I began to wonder what would happen if I told a different story in each of those areas?  What if instead of telling the same old tired story of lack, frustration, hurt, and any other negative emotion I thought was the truth, I told a different story?  How different would my experience be?

I must admit the idea felt refreshing yet foreign.  I had never consciously attempted to change my own description of what I had always known myself and others to be.  What I found is that like any life or perspective change, it takes time.  I won’t magically begin describing myself as a laid back, go with the flow person in every scenario that I experience, but slowly I can begin changing my story to reflect the person I am becoming.

I am so grateful for this life changing thought that has allowed me the freedom to change how I experience the world around me.  I now know I don’t have to live in the confines of who I always was (or thought I was) and can move into new territory where I am the writer of my reality.

You are too.

I challenge you to take some time this weekend to explore the stories you use to describe yourself or others and see how those same old stories are creating your very existence.  See some things you don’t like?  Try to re-frame and re-phrase your story to reflect what you want to see.  It may feel foreign at first, but just as the caterpillar takes time to transition into a beautiful butterfly, your new story will take some time too.

Be patient and kind with yourself as you explore new territory, but most of all enjoy the freedom of creating your reality, including living the life of your dreams.

I hope you have a wonderful weekend and as always thank you for reading!