The world we live in can often times make us feel like we have to play a specific role in order to “fit in”. For misfits like myself it can become a tireless task to be accepted by all groups and to attempt to be like everyone else when deep down we know, we are just us. Many of us are taught from a young age to merely exist and blend in with those around us. Sure we want to be successful but at what cost? The cost of our individuality?
There are many things that connect us as human beings, but a vast number of things that make us unique as well and those things are what make this life experience so amazing. (In my humble opinion.) The fact that we all have our own experiences, opinions, decisions, and choices in this life make it the huge melting pot that it is, yet many people can’t seem to understand that “different” doesn’t necessarily mean “bad”. And so, many of us strive to live the lives we think we should when really our authentic selves are waiting to come to the surface. For some it can take an entire lifetime of working hard to fit in, only to realize they were really meant to stand out and follow their heart’s desires all along. Others realize it much sooner, but still live half of their lives ignoring and denying who they truly are on the inside.
These last few weeks I have been doing a lot of thinking about authentic living. I have had times in my life where I felt like I needed to fit in and have since begun what feels like a huge transition into living truly and authentically from my heart, and part of that authentic living means accomplishing my less than normal dreams. And as I have begun sorting through my own beliefs on what is normal and what isn’t, I stumbled across some profoundly inspiring information/quotes that I want to share with you.
In the January 2013 issue of The Oprah Magazine, Oprah interviewed spiritual teacher Carolyn Myss about discovering happiness and finding our true path in this life. One of the questions Carolyn was asked was why are people so confused about what they are meant to do in this life and her response resonated with me to my core.
“Because they define their life by what they want versus what they have.”
Wow…how many of us can think of a time when we have found ourselves unhappy due to not having something in particular? What if we all took stock of what we have and live from a space of gratitude for those things instead of trying to keep up with society and what they dictate is enough? I don’t think our lives should be defined by our possessions or the things we want to have, but more by who we are…our true, authentic selves.
The interview goes on to discuss life purpose and how many people find achieving their dreams and goals as a difficult thing. They often find they are met with resistance and struggle.
“People suffer when they pursue a life or chase a dream that doesn’t belong to them.”
I had to stop for a moment and really absorb what this statement suggests. If we are traveling a path that is not ours, meaning we are trying to live a life that is not authentic for us, then we are likely to be met with resistance, frustration, and challenge. That is not to suggest that achieving our own dreams won’t have its own struggles and life lessons, but there will likely be a distinct difference in how those challenges feel. The key is realizing when you are operating from your true self and when you are attempting to achieve a goal simply for the way it looks on the outside. Are you achieving your dreams because it is your soul’s purpose or are you doing it for other reasons?
So, how do we find our life purpose? By that I mean our true, authentic path that we are meant to travel in this lifetime. What if you don’t know where to start? Carolyn suggests:
“Have no judgments about your life. No expectations. Give up the need to know what happens tomorrow. Just be fully present and appreciate all that is in your life right now.”
Again, I don’t think she suggests sitting around and waiting for life to happen for you, but instead to be fully present with where you are right now and to listen. Listen to your inner voice, your joy, and your passion. It is likely you haven’t heard what it is trying to say if you have been attempting to live a life that isn’t yours. Enjoy this moment, be grateful for it, and listen to what comes up for you. I think you will find your true self shine through and it may be 180 degrees different from the life you were trying to live, but I firmly believe when we are living fully from our authentic selves, life simply flows. You might just find that your true path offers more joy, happiness, and peace than you ever imagined.
Are you willing to live from that place?