Lamisha Serf-Walls

Confession Time: I Didn’t Listen To My Heart…and I Failed (sort of)

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To be honest with you, I have been dreading writing this post.  Part of me knew I had to do some processing mentally and emotionally before I could put anything in writing and the other part of me was just plain embarrassed.

Embarrassed of looking like a fraud, a scam, a loser and my worst fear…a FAILURE.

So what did I fail at exactly?

I failed at listening to my intuition when it told me something wasn’t a good fit.

I failed at recognizing the signs that reinforced something wasn’t a good fit.

I failed at standing in my power to declare to myself and YOU that it’s ok to pull the plug on something that isn’t a good fit.

So what is this elusive ‘thing’ that isn’t a good fit?

The 90-Days To Biz Brilliance program.

Yep, the program I was so excited about (initially before the signs) and the same program I put off releasing twice for various reasons (because I clearly ignored the signs.)

The short story is this.  I fell into the trap of thinking that other people know me better than myself and while some of my clients are female entrepreneurs, I am not a ‘business coach’.  Here’s where it gets a little confusing even for me.  The biz brilliance program is actually full of amazing content, support, information, and practices to handle the stuff that comes up when you are creating a business, but it is also good for people NOT in business.

I was excited about the program.  I shared it with you and in various other networks happily.  I loved the feeling of the program, but something I couldn’t quite put my finger on felt off.  The more I shared, the more off it felt.  And when the feeling got to be too much, I knew that it wasn’t going to fly, but I was too afraid to pull the plug for fear of looking unprofessional.  I didn’t want anyone to think any less of me and to see me the way I was seeing me in that moment…a failure.

But despite all of that this is what I have learned:

  • I now know what the off feeling feels like in my body and I can use that in the future
  • I took a HUGE step to create a program that has good bones and can be used in another way…later
  • I am not a failure
  • I now have more clarity about what isn’t a good fit for me, which is equally as important as knowing what is
  • Life (and my business) goes on despite this bump in the road
  • Listening to my intuition and inner wisdom is always the best way

It is imperative to trust that tiny whisper within that tells you something isn’t right and the nudge you get to go in a particular direction.  Learn to listen to yourself and let go of the other stuff that doesn’t feel right for you.  Tap into your intuition on a daily basis and allow it to guide you forward.  It takes practice, I know especially when you are in business and there are so formulas for ‘success’.  Your success will come to you in a way that feels right and fits your path.

Another big thing this experience taught me is that trying is succeeding in its own right, so keep trying.  Keep experimenting and keep going.  Do you know how many times Albert Einstein ‘failed’ in his experiments before he got one ‘right’?  If one of the most amazing scientific geniuses in history can ‘fail’ a few times to get to something incredible, then don’t you think we can too?

Life is about experience, so remember that as you try and try (and try) again.  Don’t forget to trust too.  Trust is a big part of the process.  Knowing that you will get to where you are going as long as you keep going.

 

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P.S. We are entering the last 4 months of the year (where does the time go!) and I know there are dreams and goals that you have been procrastinating on.  It’s time to get a Jump Start don’t you think? My 1-month Jump Start package is available to help you take big action and get moving immediately toward your dreams.  Haven’t you waited long enough?  Get signed up for your free 30-minute consultation to get started for September. 

Authenticity and Intuition

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Everyone who sets out on a new path into a future that is unknown experiences bouts of fear, insecurity, excitement, and a variety of other feelings that come with the territory.  It’s normal.  It’s expected and it’s sometimes necessary to learn extremely important lessons.  Do you know how I know this?  Because I have had to learn some pretty big lessons in authenticity and intuition.

You see, when you start something new you might look around to others for their help and expertise in various decisions and choices you are making.  Being a newbie in whatever field you are in, it is often suggested to have a mentor to provide guidance and insight into what you are doing.  It’s also great to have a second eye on new projects or things that you are working on in order to help you grow your skill set.  It doesn’t matter what your dream might be, but if it’s new, there will likely be some growing pains along the way.

But, what happens when you begin outsourcing decisions and opinions to a degree that you lose faith in your own ability to choose what is right and wrong for you?  What happens when you lose the little bit of confidence you had to begin with?

What happens is you lose the connection with your intuition and your authentic self, which can be detrimental to dream and your wavering confidence.

But wait a minute Lamisha, didn’t you say that it’s okay to ask for help and assistance when we are reaching for our dreams and that we don’t have to do it alone???

Yes I did say that and I still stand by that statement, BUT it is also important to stay true to who you are and to stay connected to your intuition.  Advice, insight, and assistance are all fine and good, but when it doesn’t feel right and goes against who you are, take note.  Whatever the suggestion is might not be what is right for you in that moment.

I don’t expect my clients (or myself for that matter) to know everything there is to know in order to accomplish their dreams, but I encourage them to listen to their intuition and use it as guidance for the choices they make.  Does that mean that if a suggestion is scary they don’t do it?

Not necessarily.  It can take some work to learn to differentiate between fear and intuition, but once you figure it out, you can begin feeling your way to the future life of your dreams.

It also doesn’t mean you won’t ever have to experience challenging lessons along the way.  Sometimes our intuition will lead us to exactly what we need to learn and experience, so take it as a gift and a lesson.

I guess what I am saying is to trust yourself.  Believe in your dream and trust that the path will light up for you and the steps, advice, inspiration, and action steps on your path will come when they are meant to.  If it just doesn’t feel right and you feel like you are creating someone else’s idea of your dream, then that’s not for you.  Take a step back and remember what your dream is and set the intention on being open to the steps that will keep your dream authentic for you. We all have experienced those “gut feelings” now and again, so tap into your intuition and I assure you it won’t lead you astray.