I find that I learn life lessons far better through experience as opposed to theory and this past weekend, I found myself learning a life lesson that I have known in theory for many years, but am only now beginning to bring it into my experience by one of the wisest teachers I know….my three year old son.

You see the misconception that many people have about parenting is that the parent is the “know all” to the child.  Parents are supposed to teach all the important life lessons since theoretically we have learned them all ourselves and while that may be true for some things, I find I learn far more from my son, than I have taught him in the last 3 years of his life.  The most recent lesson came yesterday when he absolutely refused to take his nap.  (If you are a parent, you know exactly what I am talking about.)

The lesson he taught me: Be.Here.Now.

The struggle began with my preconceived, preplanned expectation of what I wanted to accomplish during nap time yesterday.  I had some work to do and it seemed that nap time was a good time to dig in and get some things done before the big game.  My son had plans of his own.  Mainly to avoid sleep at all costs and to teach Momma a very important lesson about life.

Every time I tried to put my little one down for his nap, he fought me.  Being the parent, I thought I knew what was best for him and could tell that he was in fact tired.  It was my duty to get him down so he could rest his weary head, right?  Maybe.  Upon further reflection today, I realized what I was really trying to do was get him to fall in line with my expectations so I could have a bit of a rest and get some (in my mind very important) things done.

Instead of listening to what he truly needed, I was focused on all the things I needed to do, but wasn’t able to.  I was watching the hours tick by and was planning for the disaster that would occur if he didn’t take his nap.  Cranky kid, cranky Momma, and no work done.  Sadly and selfishly, my thoughts were not on what my son needed from me in that moment, but on what I needed him to do so I could move on with the rest of my schedule.

Thinking about it this morning, I was filled with guilt and the worst kind…Momma-guilt.  The kind that breaks your heart and makes you feel like the worst mother on the planet.  Luckily, I didn’t stay there long before I moved from guilt to curiosity.  What could I learn from this?

Is the lesson that good moms never lose their patience?

Nope.

What I learned is that regardless of what expectations I have set for the day, the week, the month, or the year, shit happens.  Plans don’t work out.  Kids don’t nap.  Cars break down.  It rains. (Though thankfully all that didn’t happen in one day.) And when things don’t go as planned, it’s not only best to just roll with it, it’s imperative.

You see, even with plans and expectations for what I wanted to accomplish yesterday, I could have been fully in the here and now.  And if I was, I would have been better equipped to roll with the punches and find a better way to spend my time.  Instead of thinking about the work I was not doing but desperately needed to do, I could have created some happy memories with my son.

The lesson in all of this is what I have known in theory all along.  Life is lived in the ‘now’.  Not the past or the future.  When we waste our days thinking about what we could’ve, should’ve, or would’ve done or about what has yet to come, we miss the most amazing, magical moments in life.  For me, those moments were with my son.  For you, it might be with your spouse, a friend, or a magical moment that could lead you to the next step of your dream.  And while I would love to say I have mastered this lesson and will always be patient and flow with life, I’m not sure that’s entirely true.

What I do know is that I will be far more mindful of where my thoughts are in the moment.  I will breathe.  I will think, and I will refocus on the present moment, especially when I am with my son.  Because let’s face it, time passes by too quickly and life is too short to worry about work, stress, bills, money, and material things when we have precious children, spouses, friends, pets, family members, etc. around us.

So my question for you is this:  Where are you now?  Here or There???