The Real Deal: Part 2

A few months ago I shared a post titled The Real Deal.  It was my confession to you (and myself) that I am not perfect and I am in fact human.  (Contrary to how I may act sometimes. 🙂  )

Well consider this part two of that post.

Over the last two days I have been struggling with a lot of questions, doubts, concerns, and overall worry about the future.  A few comments from a friend that were meant to be helpful actually uncovered some deep insecurities and fear within myself that I thought I was managing by putting on a happy face and staying positive.

You see, when I started this life coaching business venture, I had one plan in mind.  I was going to build it from the bottom little-by-little and I fully believed that what I didn’t know about the business end of things I would figure out along the way.  When I got word that I would be losing my current job, I took it as a sign that I should dive more fully into my business and continue building it piece-by-piece and that things would rapidly take off.  For the first time in my life I wasn’t worried about the future.  I didn’t have to know how it was going to happen or what would come next and I certainly wasn’t worried about money.  (If you know me personally, you know that is a HUGE thing for me to say.)

I had faith and I was trusting the process.

Then I received some rather blunt, yet constructive comments about my business and all of my faith and trust flew out the window.  A million “I can’t…” thoughts flew into my mind accompanied by other dream crushing statements that seemed to multiply by the moment.  I was doubting myself, my business, and my future.  I was frustrated, stuck, and lost.  I didn’t know what action to take (if any) and I felt like a failure.

It sucked.  It was ugly.  But, it was necessary.

What I now know is that the insecurities and hidden fear that bubbled up were there all along.  I was simply trying to cover them up.  I didn’t want to admit that there were things I didn’t know and my emotional reaction to a friend and mentors constructive comments gave me the opportunity to face them head on.  I had the option to continue to wallow in self-doubt and worry or take a step back and re-evaluate things.

While there are many things that I have yet to learn, I know this:  I LOVE coaching and I’m good at what I do because of experiences like this.  I know where my clients are coming from when they feel lost, stuck, and unsure of what to do next.  I understand how it feels when things don’t go as planned.  But, I also know what it means to keep going and to keep your dream alive.

Aside from learning to deal with the fear and insecurities that came up in this situation, I have also learned the importance of standing in your power and trusting your intuition.  Just because someone shares their insights and thoughts with you does not mean you have to do anything with it, especially if it doesn’t resonate with you.  You get to choose whether to use the information or discard it.  It’s your choice.

Trust your dreams.  Trust the process, even when it doesn’t go the way you expected.  But most of all trust yourself!

Onward and upward!!!

photo credit: patricklanigan via photopin cc